universally speaking.
this whole ordeal of a situation is pretty pointless to put so much energy into. i don’t care anymore: about it or about you. i don’t forgive you either. i don’t believe in the whole “forgive and forget” bullshit, but i do believe in not forgetting. how else do you learn from your mistakes? i, for one, do not want to repeat my mistakes. they haunt and you don’t grow from them if you continue to repeat them.
to you infamous three: you are in the most remote sense insignificant to me. and no, don’t try to counter with saying “oh, but we are because you acknowledge us in your tumblr that we creep on!” because that isn’t the truth either. you are merely a buzzing gnat around my ears, merely needing to be swated away as to relieve myself of the tedium of your buzzing. of course i acknowledge your tiny, insignificant existence in my tumblr; how else will you know who you are if i remain vague and speculative about it? some of my best pieces of writing have come from how emotionally distraught your selfish endeavors have left me, how i would keep myself awake trying not to worry about how none of my roleplay identities would have any romantic relationships with anyone because i either refuse to play my characters as whores or i was barely ever online to entertain you sorry fucks. why i even “roleplayed” is a mystery. i’ve outgrown it for five years. i only did it to please ashley, which is impossible as i’ve noticed recently.
the only positive outlook that has come out of this whole shitstorm has been that i am doing nothing wrong. people, in general, are shitty, make shitty decisions, and see everyone else as being shit for their entertainment and abuse.
i am not bitter; merely perplexed with the tremendous amount of hypocracy going around in your little worlds. i leave you now to marinate in your stupid nature and mediocrity. nothing you say or do can affect me negatively; none of your war-mongering, your bias, your lies, your hypocracy, your cowardice - i firmly believe that all of your negativity will come back to you ten-fold and bite you in the ass, tear you apart (metaphorically speaking, i hope for your sake), and leave you dumbfounded.
so, should you ever creep on this or any of my other contacts, i hope that this finds you well.
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P.S.
I am the happiest I’ve been and it’s without you three. I think that says enough.
That, you cannot cheat me. That, you cannot take away from me. That, you will never achieve.
my life is amazing.
Why do I even bother? It all falls apart and when it doesn’t, someone is bound to fuck it up and then make it fall apart even harder. Today made me realize how few friends I truly have. Does that make me a loser? Or just difficult to get close to? Or whatever you want to call it?
To be honest, I give up on giving a shit as to what anyone else thinks. Anyone within reason - as in, Ashland High Schoolers. I have class with kids that are pampered and have someone else wiping their asses for them and don’t care about anything unless it somehow pertains to them. God, this generations sucks balls.
And God, FUCK YOU, GAGE. FUCK. YOU. You codependent motherfucker - GET A FUCKING LIFE ALREADY. While you’re at it, purchase a goddamn shower. Girls find neither clinginess nor greasiness attractive. Way to score.
Kayla: Your only friend is your sister and vice-versa. You’re just sad.
“Crew”: Grow fucking spines, yeah? I’m so glad I see through you fuckers. I’m so glad that I have a life. I don’t rely on reading instant messages to get me off nor entertain me. I feel sorry for the whole lot of you. Yes, the whole lot.
And lastly, all of you “fairweather” friends: Look at me - I’m going places. I don’t need any of you. I don’t need your backbiting, your inability to give a damn, nor your meaningless opinions. High school is the epicenter, the apex, the focal point of your lives: how sad is that? Boy, do I feel sorry for all of you. Except I don’t. Ta-ta, fuckers. Rot in this blackhole while I move to Boston and make myself, my own money, and contribute to society.
Senior year, twats. I’m definitely going to make the best of it.
how can i love you?
i genuinely thought you cared. stupid me.
